DON'T LOSE IT. USE IT. How to stand up for yourself in the workplace

The guide to responding to bias at work. Without losing your cool.

Ever been told you're “too much,” “too emotional,” or mistaken for the assistant instead of the lead? Whether it’s a passive-aggressive jab, a dismissive comment, or a subtle dig at your credibility ---> knowing what to say in the moment can make all the difference.

This framework gives you the scripts and approaches to respond appropriately to whatever they throw at you.

What’s Inside

A simple 3-part response framework you can use on the spot (Joke. Reminder. Confrontation.)

20+ real workplace scenarios with ready-to-use examples from sexist remarks to credibility hits

Tips for building long-term confidence when the same dynamics keep showing up

Whether you're early in your career or leading a team, this guide will help you hold your ground and set boundaries without losing your professionalism.

About the Author

Hi, I’m Daria Jacob, founder of CareerCatalystLab, business leader, and science PhD. I’ve been “too much,” “too ambitious,” and “too direct” and I’ve also led global teams, launched successful products, acquired companies and negotiated multi-million agreements. It's tough to stay on top of the pressure, but yet I am still here. Now I help hundreds of women (and men!) navigate tricky career transitions. This guide is built from real-world experience, and it’s designed to help you take back control of the conversation.

Real Comments, Real Responses

“You’re intimidating. Try dialing it down.”
“Let’s bring in someone more technical.”
“Don’t wear skirts when presenting to leadership.”
You don’t have to freeze or just go pocker face (like I used to). You can respond adequately and stay cool.

📥 Instant download. Just the words you wish you had in the moment.

Here's what inspired me to create this framework:

I’m not the toughest negotiator but I do a good job at negotiating win-wins. Sadly, some people, in case an older white male, decide to take advantage of my comparably young age for a senior job and me being so approachable. This person commented throughout the week on my outfits - nothing terribly wrong but it was getting on my nerves. Maybe it was his tactic to destabilize me but I brushed them all with a joke. 

- Oh I love how you tied your scarf around your bag’s handle. It’s so elegant. 
- Appreciate your attention to detail. Let’s discuss blablabla topic of the day - I said. And thought to my self: weird / creep, but whatever... 

This was the third time and it continued! To the point that on the very last day when saying goodbye he literally told me:
- I just want to give you a sincere piece of advice. Look, you’re wearing 20k worth of jewelry and stuff (he literally said that!!!) and you may want to TONE IT DOWN for such negotiations. 

I froze. I didn’t answer anything. Nothing rude but also nothing constructive. And I’ve spent the following days marinating over this episode in my head for sleepless nights. 

Luckily, at least I kept a poker face. But that’s not enough! So I sat down and revisited all the coaching I’ve ever done for objection handling and dealing with complicated people/ situations. I revised what I learned and came up with an enhanced framework. How to not only joke your way out of such comments, but also, how to CALL OUT THE BIAS. The more it becomes visible, the more shameful it will be seen and the more people will learn to keep their inappropriate comments to themselves. 

My framework is a tool for you to train your responses. If you’re a woman or a minority, you are especially prone to encounter such situations. Sadly. So you need to learn how to handle them instead of just freezing. 

Let’s strike back!